Photo by By 53 mm photogRaphy

Our 13-year old still believes that the main reason for Friday’s tragedy is that a man was mad at his mom and went looking for her. We now know that the two had little or no connection to the school, and I pray our son never finds out. He is a black and white guy so once he processed his version of the story he locked it up in a box and stuck it in the back of his head. I could almost hear the key turning. Our youngest stayed quiet and I watched a wisp of innocence float away into the distance.

The TV stayed off all weekend, except for the Giants game. I, on the other hand, watched the news live on my iPad all weekend. I just need to know the names of these babies and their brave, fallen protectors. When President Obama got tearful on Friday, I wept. His words last night were eloquent whilst at the same time laced with the frustration we all feel.

The second amendment was written at a time when individual states had their own militias. Many scholars have interpreted the amendment to mean that the right to bear arms was for the militia, as individuals carry arms and our protectors bear them. This kid’s mom was a hunter but I will never be able to fathom why she owned a gun that could shoot six bullets a second. A rifle isn’t sufficient? If you know me, you know I am pretty conservative. But enough is enough.

God himself played on every news outlet along with the pundits. A survivor of Columbine who lost his brother that day was on the airwaves pleading with parents to not allow spirituality to be taken out of their children’s lives. Others spoke of a society where we are pushing God away and thus, we can’t blame him when things go wrong. The President spoke of a loving God last night as he spoke of Jesus beckoning that all little children come to him for they are welcome in his Kingdom.

Our sadness will linger this season as many of us open presents on Christmas morning and all of us ring in the New Year. It is still far fetched to say, though, that our misery could even be a spark on the flame of those who lost their loved ones.

Those of us who rely on faith have only our beliefs to comfort us. I imagine 27 people in heaven today, rejoicing in their arrival, the horror of Friday a forgotten memory. I also imagine one man banging on the gates, being told that he can’t come inside. I know God is not capable of vengeance, but I am not that perfect.